


help me understand

by chipsandwaffles



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8648635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chipsandwaffles/pseuds/chipsandwaffles
Summary: Eunwoo swears he isn't self-absorbed, but he can't understand why Bin doesn't like him back.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ...recently I had a really terrible day and this idea came to me. Whoops...? I wasn't gonna post it but. I felt like my friend needed some angst so. Enjoy?? Also find me on tumblr at @chipsandwaffles muah muah i love you all ^^ (also it's 3 am so if anything is fucked uP whoops. )

Eunwoo wouldn’t call himself self-absorbed at all. He knows he was born with good looks and that people practically ask for his hand in marriage every day. And, unfortunately with that he’s caused a lot of broken hearts, but he’s never really had his own. 

He’s not self-absorbed he swears, but he doesn’t understand why he’s being denied by the person he likes. 

Of all people, he thought Moon Bin would be the most in love with him. 

Eunwoo stares at Moon Bin, before looking down at the ground. Maybe he is self-absorbed. Don’t self-absorbed people just assume people are in love with him?

He just doesn’t understand though. He thought there were clear signs. Bin would cuddle with him, and Bin would get closer to him than any of the other members, and Bin would hug him and tell him he loved him late at night when they had a hard day. 

Yet here he was, apologizing to Eunwoo because he didn’t love him back. 

Eunwoo doesn’t understand. Jinwoo had told him to go for it because he thought Bin liked him too. Sanha was all for Eunwoo confessing, and even MJ had been excited for him to confess.

The only one that seemed a little indifferent about the whole thing was Rocky, but Eunwoo chalked it up to Rocky being Rocky.

As he stands in front of Moon Bin though, he knows exactly why Rocky had been so indifferent. 

“Eunwoo, are you going to say anything?” Bin asks. He reaches out to grab one of Eunwoo’s hands, and Eunwoo lets him take it. He doesn’t want to admit it’s because it’s the closest he’ll get to ever holding his hand. 

“How long have you been together?” Eunwoo wants to know so he can confirm he never had any chance in the first place.

Bin is quiet for a moment, and Eunwoo looks up at him to see him thinking. Eunwoo kind of wants to cry as he looks at Moon Bin, because he’s got this small smile on his face as he thinks and Eunwoo is pretty sure it’s because he’s thinking about Rocky.

“I think five years?” Bin says. Eunwoo definitely wants to cry now. “We danced around each other for a while… Literally.”

Eunwoo lets out a small laugh at Bin’s joke, but laughing at the joke seems harsh to his heart because his heart feels like it’s being hit with a hammer a million times. 

Eunwoo is probably being dramatic, but after liking Bin for so long he’s not sure he can help it. 

“…how long have you liked me?” Bin asks suddenly. Eunwoo doesn’t want to tell him he’s liked him since they met. 

Not when they initially met, because Bin was nervous and didn’t talk to him for two straight days after. But when they _really_ met. When Bin and he were eating lunch next to each other, when Eunwoo told a dumb joke that made Bin smile so big Eunwoo forgot how to breathe, when Eunwoo thought about how much he wanted to make Bin smile and laugh like that for the rest of his life, when Bin reintroduced himself and told Eunwoo he hoped they could be better friends. 

So, instead he tells him he’s only liked him for a few months. 

“Oh. Okay. So, not that long. That’s good.” Eunwoo doesn’t exactly see how that’s good, because even if it had actually been for a few months he still _likes_ Moon Bin, and knowing he doesn’t like Eunwoo back still hurts.

“Yeah. I’m sure I’ll be over you in a few weeks.” Eunwoo tries to smile, but he still wants to cry. He wants to cry into Jinwoo’s shoulder, and sip hot tea with him while they talk about their dumb feelings that won’t ever be returned. 

So they do. 

Eunwoo pretends for the rest of practice that he isn’t totally heartbroken about Bin not liking him. He pretends that when Rocky and Bin smile at each other it’s only friendly and not a smile someone gives to someone else when they’re totally in love with them. He pretends he doesn’t go to the bathroom to splash water on his face because he can feel tears coming. 

He pretends when they sit in the car to go home that he’s totally okay with talking to Moon Bin. He pretends that he’s not jealous when he and Rocky mumble something to each other and laugh. He pretends that Rocky and Moon Bin aren’t holding hands when they walk up to their dorm. 

Eunwoo crawls into Jinwoo’s bed, grabbing his pillow and holding it close to himself as he waits for Jinwoo to come back with tea. He didn’t even have to tell him anything; just one look and Jinwoo knew the confession went to shit. 

He comes back moments later, two cups of tea in his hands. Eunwoo sits up and takes it into his hands, and Jinwoo moves to sit next to him, offering his shoulder when Eunwoo is ready to cry. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Jinwoo asks. Eunwoo doesn’t. He doesn’t even want to think about Moon Bin unless he absolutely has to. So he shakes his head and after taking a few sips of his tea, rests it on Jinwoo’s shoulder. It’s kind of awkward with their height difference, but Eunwoo doesn’t really care because at least there’s someone there to comfort him. 

“Okay. I’m here if you want to talk at all.” Eunwoo sniffles once, and then the tears start to fall as he sits next to Jinwoo. 

He doesn’t want to think about Moon Bin because Eunwoo has plenty of other things to think about like individual schedules and photoshoots and their next comeback and whether or not Sanha is going to eat properly or if MJ is going to stress out as much as their Breathless comeback. 

He has other things to think about, but as he sits next to Jinwoo all he can think about is Moon Bin. 

All he can think about is him apologizing after he confessed and apologizing for liking someone who wasn’t him. 

He doesn’t understand. Eunwoo doesn’t understand because he was so sure that Bin liked him back. He was so sure, yet here he was crying and sipping tea with Jinwoo.

Eunwoo wonders if Bin would’ve liked him if he came along before Rocky. He wants to know if he was with Bin five years ago would he be the one with him right now. 

Eunwoo wonders, but he’s pretty sure even if he had met Moon Bin first, it still would’ve been the same. Moon Bin would’ve still liked Rocky. He would’ve still held his hand and smiled at him like there was no one else as perfect as Rocky. Moon Bin wouldn’t have even batted an eye at Eunwoo the minute Rocky stepped into the room. 

Eunwoo understands that Bin doesn’t like him back because he’s not Rocky, and he’s never going to be Rocky. 

Eunwoo understands that Moon Bin isn’t going to ever like him back and for the first time in his life, Eunwoo experiences heartbreak.


End file.
